From Nicotine: A metaphor that I adore (What Would Hank Do?)

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John:
"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary:
"Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me:
"Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"

John:
"If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."

Me:
"What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John:
"Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass."

Me:
"That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary:
"Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"

Me:
"Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John:
"Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me:
"Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"

Mary:
"Oh yes, all the time..."

Me:
"And has He given you a million dollars?"

John:
"Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me:
"So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary:
"You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."

Me:
"Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"

John:
"My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

Me:
"Haven't you talked to her since then?"

John:
"Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."

Me:
"So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

Mary:
"Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."

Me:
"What's that got to do with Hank?"

John:
"Hank has certain 'connections.'"

Me:
"I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

John:
"But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shit of you."

Me:
"Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."

Mary:
"No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."

Me:
"Then how do you kiss His ass?"

John:
"Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."

Me:
"Who's Karl?"

Mary:
"A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

Me:
"And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"

John:
"Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

** From the desk of Karl **

1. Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list Himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't use alcohol.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.

Me:
"This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."

Mary:
"Hank didn't have any paper."

Me:
"I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."

John:
"Of course, Hank dictated it."

Me:
"I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"

Mary:
"Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."

Me:
"I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"

Mary:
"It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."

Me:
"How do you figure that?"

Mary:
"Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"

Me:
"Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."

John:
"No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."

Me:
"But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."

John:
"There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."

Me:
"Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."

Mary:
"But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."

Me:
"I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."

John:
"Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"

Me:
"We do?"

Mary:
"Of course we do, Item 7 says so."

Me:
"You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"

John:
"Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."

Me:
"But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary:
She blushes.

John:
"Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."

Me:
"What if I don't have a bun?"

John:
"No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."

Me:
"No relish? No Mustard?"

Mary:
She looks positively stricken.

John:
He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"

Me:
"So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"

Mary:
Sticks her fingers in her ears. "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."

John:
"That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."

Me:
"It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary:
She faints.

John:
He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

What Not to Look for in Your New Eye Doctor:

When you call and get an answering machine before closing hours stating that not only are they closed, but that also they'll be closed for the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend.

And you get this answering machine message TODAY (Friday, December 15, 2006).

Thus, I can not recommend Tech Ridge Vision here in Austin because if they can't change their answering machine in this time, I doubt I want to trust them with my eyes.

Just call me Mrs. Picky. I don't mind...

Hello World

I figured I would show the world me. So here I am in all my hideous and old glory. :-P

I used the ugliest change I could. I love it for the very reason it looks like a brain near some point at the end.

Heh.

Olbermann's special commentary on Clinton vs Fox

Via Pharyngula. Excellent. I can't believe how strong a commentator Oblermann has grown to be.

Congratulations, sir. Congratulations.

Me go-go dancing for Seth Lazarus...

This was me go-go dancing to a song NOT the one you hear. No it was not Screamin' Jay Hawkins "I Put A Spell On You" that I heard.

Nice editing though ... for most of the video you can't tell that I was dancing to a different song.

Heifer.org

They do a lot of good things and we've taken to giving to them as gifts for other people. Most people that we've offered to do that for seem quite happy to have us donate in their name as a gift. Only a few think that it's "selfish" in some way.

Which to me is the weirdest thing in the world. I donate money in your name so that it's from you as a gift and it's "selfish?"

Weird.

Anyway, I haven't been keeping up with this blog because I've literally been avoiding as much politics and news as I can. I keep up with it through The Daily Show and The Colbert Report but really reading about it all just makes me feel so frustrated.

The whole Diebold mess is disgusting. Six years later and it's only NOW getting some news. Grrrrr. Thus I've been avoiding the news because my stress levels have been through the roof. Mostly I've been staying with LJ and Model Mayhem and focusing on art and photography.

I have four pieces up at a gallery in Dallas. I have shoots this weekend where I'm modeling and where I'm photographing. Really, right now it's all too much for me.

When it comes right down to it I will probably have to move to the morphine for the pain. And it's not a happy thought.

But so it goes.

Keep Jesus Off My Penis

A cute, funny and very freaking true song I got from my friends off Livejournal. Thought it would make for a good return to the land of the Blogger.

Things have been insane and sad. My two ferrets died, one of a genetic issue, the other of what can only be described as loneliness. We tried our best and the vet said we did more than anybody else they had ever seen.

But at least we tried.

So here's something cute, funny and good.

Because it's just too sad and frustrating and now I'm sick

I have not updated in a long while because I have too many things on my plate.

First I have fibromyalgia, an anxiety disorder and ADHD. Only I don't have the last one being treated and the other two I'm having just sort of taped up rather than really fixed in any way, shape or form.

My photography is taking off, in a non-paying sort of way. Models are starting to queue up to model for me and I have both women AND men that want to work with me.

Not only that, but at the end of March I came up with an idea for an alternative erotica site that functions on a NON-hardcore premise (no penetration, or anything like that and I refuse at this point to shoot, "pink" as it is termed in certain circles) and found a female with a mind that works well with mine and though she has CFIDs she also is ex-Army and has an e-commerce degree (as well as two years in the sex fetish industry). So I came up with an idea, threw it at her, it passed muster and we had the barebones of a site up within one week.

Already with no upfront pay (we're paying models based on revenue they attract, which might seem less fair upfront, but is far more fair in the long-term toward them) we have almost the entire fifteen models we need to comfortably start. I have the outline of what my PHP engineer needs to build and the style for my designer to work based on. And I have photographers (the non-jerk ones, I have to add, I've already met a couple real jerks online) that I respect onboard and shooting for us.

Incorporation should happen shortly. I shot twice this week, I'm shooting this coming Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and then we're flying to Boston to drive up to NH (long story) in order to shoot one of my best friends in the world's wedding.

It may kill me ... all of this working beyond my body's capabilities. Gods know I'm freaking sick as all hell today. But I have today and tomorrow to literally just lay here in bed and not do anything other than mentally keep myself as shut down as possible.

Anyway, other sites do a better job than I ever could of doing a take-down on the things that matter to me politically, scientifically and even culturally.

So for now, this will be once again relegated to when something so upsets me that I can't stand it ... I need to scream it out from here.

Yes, I consider this spamming and ban-worthy:

From an alleged zine on my myspace bulletin board (all typos left intact):

Subject: "Interesting indeed"

Body: "Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.
And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we
said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with
"WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then w onder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they WILL think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in."

You know what? Katrina turned out so badly because people ignored what scientists told them would happen. Well, yes, that's only part of it, but it's a very large part. And that's what I wrote to the person who used what I thought was an "underground music zine" to proselytize inappropriately. So I removed them. I also removed somebody who wrote racist and eugenics based trash. You know what? I don't care what you believe in just so long as you act like a decent person. But when you start judging the world based on what I consider trash and ignoring my rights to NOT BELIEVE (what ever it is you might believe in) you're gone. I have no patience with bigots. Nor should I. There's enough pain and suffering happening in the world and I've seen it happen to people who believe just as often as I've seen it happen to don't. Actually that's a lie. By statistics more people who believe have bad things happen.

I actually had a relative tell me tonight that I just think I'm an atheist because I do good for the sake of doing good. That's right. Apparently real atheists don't do good.

You know what? Fuck that noise. I've had enough. PZ Myers is right. The religious are mostly tools and bigots. There's no point to even trying to have a dialogue with most of them. They're not interested. And it's just sickening.

Working on an essay: Part 1 of debunking The pH Miracle

I received the book (The pH Miracle) from my sister and immediately started drinking the greens and eating avocados as well as trying to cut back on dairy and sugar while reading the book.

I've found several fallacious statements, and the fact that they use pure anecdotal evidence rather than any "real" research should let people know that this is not actual science or medical help he's practicing. And anybody who says to sneak multi-vitamins and minerals by the numbers he and his wife mention into a hospital setting while somebody's healing in supervised care without telling the doctors what's going on is just completely irresponsible.

The idea of him talking about his "research" with a group of 12 West Point students to the point of having such lax control that he uses a "magnetic pendant" at the same time (so you know, it could be that and not the diet that worked!) and talking about "healthy" versus "unhealthy" blood in the manner he does just screams fraud to me.

My sister's an actual medical doctor but she is very willing to try alternative treatments and doesn't understand research or control groups or even how to follow basic statistics. I feel the Young's feed into that sort of mentality.

1. On the first page of the book, the author introduces the premise by stating,"It's all about balance. The universe operates by keeping opposites in balance, and the universe contained within your body is no exception." Starting off with a completely backward statement means that this whole idea and Mr. Young behind it have nothing to do with science and everything to do with marketing. The universe does not "keep" opposites in balance. Opposites stay in balance because otherwise they would cease to exist. Take the orbit of the earth, for example. The earth does not stay in a balanced orbit around the sun because the universe forced the gathering of particles into a ball and placed that ball into a perfect orbit, forever checking to make sure it didn't fall out of balance for some reason. The earth spins around the sun this way because out of the immeasurable amounts of particles, the ones in just the right environment to support it, gathered into a ball (the earth) spinning around a much bigger ball of particles (the sun). The remainder of the particles in that cloud either got sucked into the sun or just went on their way, not getting close enough to the gravity pull of the entities around them. So...the universe does not "keep" things the way they exist today, things exist today the way they do, in a seemingly balanced state, because they would not exist otherwise.

A simpler example: if you have a cup hanging from a string in the middle of the room, open end up, and hurl a bucket of sand into the air, some of the sand falls into the cup. You did not force that specific sand into the cup, but do you see any other sand at that height in the room? No! Because it had nothing keeping it there and fell to the floor instead.

2. In Chapter 2, Mr. Young states that when certain ratios of acids and bases meet, they "cancel each other out" by which I assume he really means "explodes or otherwise reacts violently." Remember the baking soda and vinegar volcano from grade school? Acid + base = violent reaction.

** More later **

Don't mess with Texas standards (ripped from an lj friend):

A friend wrote in their journal:

"I spend a lot of time at my job (working at home today, so I can tell you this -- then I really have to get back to work) going through various states' language arts standards. Since we're attempting to create a curriculum that could be used nationally, we have to try to hit as many state standards as possible. This is a little tricky because every single state in the union has different standards. Some states have well-written standards that seem age-appropriate and reasonable and philosophically consistent with the field. Some states do not, and you have to wonder if anyone who touched the document had ever met a second grader in their lives. Which is sort of sad, because they're all essentally saying the same thing.

But I just had to note this one. While it is commonplace to state that kids should be able to answer various levels of comprehension questions (even though I have a problem with the idea that if you can answer a comprehension question, you understand what you have read), Texas is the only state whose standards say this:

Grade 3:
Practice different kinds of questions and tasks, including test-like comprehension questions.
Grade 4:
Answer different types and levels of questions such as open-ended, literal, and interpretative as well as test-like questions such as multiple choice, true-false, and short answer.

Yes, in the fine state of Texas, taking a test is a LEARNING STANDARD. That blows my mind. Talk about teaching to the test.

As Marge Simpson would say, 'I am so sick of that tautology!'"

I commented:

"Hello! Why do you think if we adopt there's no way our child(ren) will go to school and instead will be homeschooled? It's fucking sick here. Molly Ivins has written about it repeatedly through the years and many, many teachers have tried to fight the test standard as the be all and end all here in this state.

Ugh. It's pretty f**king horrible, I can tell you that.

Friend commented back:

"It's as bad in California, I'm afraid. Sign of the times. The pendulum will swing back soon (it always does), hopefully by the time we have kids in school...sigh.

Me again:

"Actually it hasn't swung in years here ... basically ever since Bush was governor and started cementing the whole thing in place. That's what his "No Child Left Behind" initiative here did. All these Texans screaming, "Look at what he did to us before you even think of voting him in charge of the US!" and people either ignored or (really) most of the MSM didn't even write about it. And he has done to the country as a whole what he did to Texas on a smaller scale while in charge. Taking a place in the black and putting it in the red all the while cutting things left-right-and-center and helping ruin education here.

If you ever get a chance to read Molly Ivins co-written book about life under Bush here in Texas that she put out right before he got elected (ha-ha) in 2000 I highly recommend it."

Border Drama (from a friend's journal):

Welcome to the new state of the border into Canada. Where a woman giving a ride to two friends becomes targeted and her car ripped open.

"I was going to let this drop, but after taking a good look at the interior of my car today, I'm fucking livid.

Saturday Afternoon I brought the Canadians back to the Greyhound station in Windsor so they could get back to Toronto. I dropped them off and immediately headed back to the tunnel - I was still a bit hungover bust mostly I just had a nasty cold coming on, all I wanted to do was get back into the US and crawl back into bed for a bit. I figred coming back alone was going to be simple. I know border procedures well. Don't look like shit, have a clean car and have all your papers in order. Aside from myself looking a bit ill, I was dressed sedately, my car was immaculate (fresh from carwash and vacuum, no packages or bags or trash, no music on, hatch cover open so the back was in plain view) and passport and license were out.

The first screener started off with the usual schpeel, then escalated into how long I knew my friends that I was dropping off, how I knew them, how I met them, where I worked, what my title was, and then it got weirder - why I was traveling with alone with two non-US men (wtf?????). Why there was no other females in our group...were one of these men my boyfriend? Do I have a boyfriend? How would he feel if he knew I was with two men from out of the country? (At this point this shitbag probably sensed anger off me, as anyone who knows me at all knows I don't take blanket gender stereotypes well...but I wasn't about to get into a philosophical discussion with this guy, I just wanted to go home and take a nap.) I was *never* short with him (even though I wanted to bite his head off), I was truthful (we went to a concert, yes I have a boyfriend, yes, he also knows them) then he just laid into me "why do you look so nervous" (I don't feel very well and just want to get home) and again repeating himself ... ("I'm really not nervous, I'm just coming down with the flu, want to get get home...)

He slapped the orange tag on my windshield and I was off to be searched. This isn't the first time it has happened - probably the 4th - but NEVER to this extent. I was instructed to leave everything except my money, leave any cell, blackberry, any kind of communication device, all pens and paper, purse - then they were all weird that I didn't have a purse - "where is your purse" - "I don't always carry one, everything is in my pockets" - "what kind of girl doesn't carry a purse?" - "uhhh, everything fits in my coat pockets" Then I had to empty my coat pockets. What kind of girl? WTF.

So I go into that awfully fluorescent lit room, present my ID again, they ask me the same questions but then really start into me "why are you nervous "why are you so nervous...people are only nervous who have something to hide...what are you hiding... WHY are you so nervous?!?"

Again and again I said I had nothing to hide, I just didn't feel well and wanted to get home. (I was coughing like I was going to lose a lung, this wasn't some mystery illness in my head.)

At this point they break out the dogs, they're jumping around like mad in my car, this escalates the internal freakout to about a + eleventy billion. Let me preface this by saying I have never had ANY form of contraband in my car. Ever. I don't smoke cigarettes or anything else (yes, I admit I have in the past, but my asthma has gone apeshit over the last year and a half and I've totally quit any of that.) So I should have no worries, right? BUT I was the only one thus far who was being searched who had NOT been hauled off to jail yet. They had found something on *everyone*. They were just hauling one guy off for having ONE pot seed under his floormat. SO I'm thinking shit...I have had passengers...what if something fell out of a pocket...what if something had fallen off a passenger of the the person I bought the car from...I've only had it for about a month...what if they are planting shit on people? I know I had no rational reason to worry but at this point, they were using what I realize now were just intimidation tactics, which were bordering on abusive. I couldn't jot down a badge number, couldn't call anyone...

I've now been detained for about an hour.

They went on with the "why are you so nervous...what are you hiding" for even more, somehow I kept it together and was just honest with them and stated that "I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, I am prone to panic attacks when I feel out of control of a situation, and when I do not have my phone or belongings, I feel out of control." I didn't want to get into my whole fucking psychological history with these people, but as my heart was doing about 180 and I felt like I was going to pass out, I didn't have much choice.

Finally after sitting there for another 15 minutes, the dogs were done, their demeanor immediately changed 100% - ok, Ms. S****, have a good night, and told me to go.

They didn't find anything, of course.

So I was pretty "off" for the rest of the day, trying to get rid of the panic attack, was about to put it behind me into the "shit happens" category...then this morning I actually look at the interior of the rear of MY NICE NEW FUCKING CAR and it is completely destroyed. There are holes in the door (through the pleather and into the foam/body of the door), holes in the seat, rips in cloth, my cd changer in the back doesn't work at all, won't recognize it - hopefully it is just a wire that got ripped out. nail scratches all over the interior. Carpet cut on the floor. I was so pissed off to see this I haven't documented it all. This was the first time I've had something nice and new (well, new to me, I know it wasn't new but I got it in immaculate condition). I can't bitch to anyone, I have no names, no badge numbers and like I'm going to go complain to these scary motherfuckers? Yeah, that'll blacklist me forever. I hate this intimidation shit, I hate this fucking country, I hate that they can just rip your shit apart and assume you have crap on you when you don't, make absurd generalizations about gender and just be douchebags."

The scary thing about this is that in the comments from friends of this person, one person had even the doors removed from their car. Their car looked like the nun car in Up in Smoke and they had no fucking recourse. Apparently this is happening more and more between here and Canada. And that freaks me out and bothers me immeasurably.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose..."

I die with a little help from my friends:

This story via Yahoo news (actually it's a Reuters story, but god DAMN they make it hard to find it on their site) via a friend talks about how the internet has made it easier for suicidal people to find one another so that they can go through the process of killing themselves together.

Weird and interesting and yet oddly compelling. Another friend is studying suicide on the internet and this just goes to show that there's a lot more out there than probably she even realized.

I've wanted to write about the whole Coretta King funeral uproar, but so many people have done such a better job than I could already.

Steve Gilliard, Digby, Firedoglake ... Well, especially Mr Gilliard. I'm not Black and my husband's only partially Native American (he didn't grow up on a reservation like at least one person I know did) and my closest Black friend doesn't believe in racism (he's psycho though ... he also believes in astrology at the same time as studying for his doctorate in mathematics) so I think that Mr Gilliard has the most true and honest and fucking right on feeling regarding this whole thing.

I saw Reverend Lowery give a speech that held true to the precepts of his church, his people and his friends. Fuck Bush if his trying to go somewhere he wasn't wanted made him uncomfortable. And fuck his wife for sitting there after every single person in the church has stood in admiration for the words and heartfelt sentiment. It's obvious she only stood after she was forced to before the cameras cut from her sitting down long after the tumult had reached it's plateau.

Between the right-wing racist attack on this and the Alito confirmation and the NSA syping mess ... it sure feels good to be an American.

A little deconstruction of the received hate email:

I want to deconstruct this little email of hate and pure psychopath and write what I would write if I could write back to this a**hole.

1. If you don't like our ad, ignore it. Why waste your spell checker on us? Though Shawn likes the snark of "...chips on your shoulders..." quite a bit. It shows you can use your mind if you want to.
2. I'm disabled. So wishing I die of cancer's a really nice touch of hate. What if I have cancer and already am dying of it? Do you do the touchdown dance?
3. My husband works full-time and then some. In case you're unaware, working half-time from home means he works from home half the time he works. Or do you have no clue about how some computer jobs get handled?
4. Trust fund? Our parents bought this house? Don't make me LAUGH. As if. That's the stupidest part of all the stupidity of the whole email.
5. You don't like the fact we want to ask our roommate to have similar tastes or at least respect our mores? Well, have fun hooking up a Christian with a Scientologist with a Satanist. I thought being up front with our house rules would weed out morons like you.
6. We don't want drugs because we're actually druggies and lazy to boot. Okay, I was wrong. There is a more stupid statement to be found. This is it.
7. Oh, sending all this hate, vitriol, wanting me to be raped and me and my husband killed using your email with your name? If this does turn out to be your email and your real name I can not WAIT for the cops, hotmail AND craigslist to get in touch with you. Seriously.
8. My friends have my back. They really do. So you can just go back to your little militia hideaway where nobody ever moves from where they're from (oh, and we moved here from upstate NY, not CA, though we have lived there, but we've also lived in London and spent time traveling, which is obviously more than I can say for you) to any place else, because god forbid they might get COOTIES.
9. Oh, and you're a foul-mouthed mouth-breathing cretin. Just to reiterate your head up your ass status.

This is the right-wing America:

I had this lovely email in my inbox this morning regarding a post I have up on craigslist (austin):

------- Original Message --------
Received: (qmail 8351 invoked from network); 3 Feb 2006 08:53:47 -0800
Received: from localhost.localdomain (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by mxo1s.craigslist.org ; Fri, 3 Feb 2006 08:53:46 -0800 (PST)
Received: from hotmail.com (bay7-f17.bay7.hotmail.com [64.4.11.17]) by mxi1s.craigslist.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 71A8710DDD for ; Fri, 3 Feb 2006 08:53:46 -0800 (PST)
Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Fri, 3 Feb 2006 08:53:46 -0800
Message-ID:
Received: from 70.113.97.68 by by7fd.bay7.hotmail.msn.com with HTTP; Fri, 03 Feb 2006 16:53:45 GMT
X-Originating-IP: [70.113.97.68]
X-Originating-Email: [mfosmoen75@hotmail.com]
X-Sender: mfosmoen75@hotmail.com
From: Mark Fosmoen
To: hous-XXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
Subject: Your ROom For Rent
Date: Fri, 03 Feb 2006 10:53:45 -0600
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 03 Feb 2006 16:53:46.0279 (UTC) FILETIME=[65D49B70:01C628E2]

A hearty and healthy FUCK YOU to you and yours. I like how you want someone
to pay for a room and then you want to dictate thier lifestyle. Must be a couple of cocknobbers with no self esteem and a boat load of inherited money
from parents. Just coasting along, drinking & drugging but doesn't want a
renter doing the same for as to not remind them of thier lazy shitty life that they've become.

You sound like 2 arrogant assholes who I hope get cancer, robbed, raped (in front of the husband, who halfway through gets a bullet in head when he attempts to be the hero). Hell, I hope you miss some insurance payments and your house burns down. I hope you are left outin the street with nothing but the chips on your shoulder and you both fight over them b/c you're so hungry. I hate California assholes like you and I wish the fuck you'd go BACK TO CALIFORNIA because you make Austin a worse place just by you living here. You incompetent, lazy, hippy, silverspoon assholes, FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF!!!!!!

Mark

_________________________________________________________________
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This is the new, better, shinier America. Where somebody who posts a request for a roommate who won't eat meat or smoke in the house gets accused of not only the most insane things, but also a wish for them to be raped, our house burnt down and both of us killed.

It's been forwarded to both hotmail and craigslist and we've called the Austin police. Under the new laws? This counts as terrorism. Oh, and I just want to put the email here so that any possible employer doing a search comes across the name and email here at some point. Because even if this is just a troll, it's so beyond troll (the first paragraph would have had me ignoring this) that they deserve the police on their ass.

** Update **

Sent to abuse@hotmail.com and abuse@craigslist.org -- Husband's calling the Austin police department to find out what our next step is.

** Second Update **

APD counts this as "terroristic" and is cross-referencing it. Husband's on the phone with APD finishing up filing the report. I'm still pretty freaked out, but knowing this is getting handled and the police are involved makes me feel a LOT better. Yes, I'm a bleeding heart liberal, and I know people who've been beaten by the police, but I've also known some good cops and had some really excellent consideration from the ones I've called in the past. In this case I'm GLAD to have them on our side. Seriously.

Bahahaha! It's only February...

But I've found the best post of the year.

The take down is just brilliant. And it's snarky as all hell. I love me some snark. Well, some well delivered and righteous snark anyway.

First a Cute Kitty, Then the Rape

Purrbarella takes life gracefully

From The Rude Pundit:

Everything Means Less Than Zero:
(Updated below)
In Brett Easton Ellis's 1985 book Less Than Zero, after we've read about the narrator, Clay, snortin' coke 'til his brain bleeds, fuckin' meaninglessly left and right, watchin' his boyhood friend - now a male prostitute - gettin' fucked by a john, and simply allowing the entire world to decay, all of a sudden Clay walks into a bedroom where all the L.A. posers and rich boys have gathered around a nude, drugged-out 12-year old girl tied to a bed, and they're getting ready to run a train on her. Clay confronts Rip, in whose apartment the rape's about to occur. Haltingly, Clay says, "I don't think it's right."

Rip responds, "What's right? If you want something, you have the right to take it. If you want to do something, you have the right to do it."

Clay answers, "But you don't need anything. You have everything."

To which Rip says, "No, I don't."

Clay asks, "Oh, shit, Rip, what don't you have?"

"I don't have anything to lose," Rip says, before he heads into the bedroom to join in the rape. Clay walks out of the apartment. He doesn't call the cops, he doesn't rescue the girl, he doesn't even try to stop anyone. He just leaves. And in the pathetic realm in which the characters exist, it can be seen as some kind of mighty gesture of strength and character. If one wants to be blindly optimistic, it can be seen as a moment of change for Clay, a moment when he will become a different, better person. But, after Clay leaves, even if he's washed his hands of it, that little girl's stranded in a nightmare.

Rude Pundit than talks about how by refusing to vote for the filibuster, certain Senators that then voted "No" don't get to walk away and feel better about themselves, because they just left that 12 year old girl tied to the bed to deal with the nightmare continuing.

So a big FUCK YOU to the Alito confirmation. Which means a big FUCK YOU to all of us minorities, disabled, women, miners, medicare needers, etc. Because this is the stealing of America from those of us who have become without voice.

Tied to the bed about to get raped by those who have everything and nothing to lose.

From Jesus' General:

The petition:

Dear Yahoo!, I am joining with others in boycotting your organization for the part you’ve played in recent human rights abuses. I have been a previous user of your services, but as of today I will be taking immediate action to discontinue my e-mail accounts, as well as the use of your search tools. I will also discontinue use of all Yahoo! affiliates such as HotJobs and MusicMatch. It's Yahoo!’s policy to abide by the laws of those countries wherein it does business. While this sounds innocuous, this policy recently in an example of why this policy is unacceptable in today’s global marketplace. By turning over Shi Tau’s identity to the Chinese government, and their subsequent imprisonment of him, you have shown the world in the worst way how business compliance with an oppressive government can result in catastrophic injustice. Shi Tau committed no crime other than exercising his freedom of speech—-a freedom that is severely curtailed in China. By revealing his identity, you committed a shameful act, and you have clearly shown that you value profits over human rights. As a response, I will do my small part in negatively affecting Yahoo! profits to show my disapproval of this policy. My hope is that enough people will do the same in order to get Yahoo! to modify its policies so they will not allow any government, foreign or otherwise, to interfere with certain inalienable human rights, such as the freedom of speech. If Yahoo! were to reverse this policy, they would be, once again prove themselves a leader in their field, and will regain my respect and my patronage.

I added this:

I've gone back and forth with your company for years. My husband almost worked for your new product 360. And I have to say that I'm appalled at your behavior. This will make the second time I've had to stop using your site. Considering I belong to several groups that I enjoy taking part in and will have to desist makes me sad. But it's nothing compared to having to go to jail for something I wrote.

I expect Yahoo! to be a leader in freedom of expression. Especially on the Internet. Your behavior has shown just how little respect you have for the customers whom have helped create your profits.

It's a petition with few signatories and some misspellings, however I believe that it's a sound issue to promote.

Part of why I hate BIG BUSINESS

The drugs don't work

· The global spend on pharmaceuticals has risen 25-fold over the past three decades, from $20bn in 1972 to more than $500bn in 2004. '[In 2002] the combined profits for the 10 drug companies in the Fortune 500 ($35.9bn) were more than the profits for the other 490 businesses put together ($33.7bn),' Dr Marcia Angell writes in her book The Truth About The Drug Companies. The breakdown of pharma finances for 2003 is: 14% on research and development, 17% on profits, 31% on marketing and admin, the rest on manufacturing and distribution.

More gets spent on Marketing and Admin combined than on Research. Any time I read somebody saying that the sick and obscene costs of my medications are due to Research I plan on slapping them with those numbers.

That's sick and twisted and making money out of other people's miseries.

Read the whole article. It's worth it. And I plan on buying the book when it comes out. It looks like a doozy.

Phone records to the person with a credit card

Any person with a credit card

You believe in conservative values? Do you? Than why are Americans being spied on and our phone records for sale to anybody with a credit card? Big government has to go the platform for the Republicans? When the spending of the party has gone up while cutting the taxes of the richest Americans?

I know who believes in my rights as an American to privacy and [it] sure is NOT my representative. And I'm just going to get one more form letter telling me politely to piss off in not so many words.

Other than missing the [it] I just sent that via Moveon.org to my representative. I'm so fed up with the political state of the nation.

On the plus side AMERICAblog has done some fine reporting for "just a blog." And has started an excellent grass roots movement (again) to get people to realize just how much our liberties are being encroached.

Go here to sign the petition Moveon.org has to try and get our phone records protected from any back-stabbing bastard with a credit card and our numbers.

Sign the anti-DRM pledge to boycott Sony

Pledge to Boycott DRM!

You can bet I signed this sucker and fast!

DRM severely restricts our rights as users, creators, and members of the global community. We will not stand by and let fair use grow extinct as a consequence of poorly thought out technology and the laws that support it.

I've been keeping up with the ongoing saga through boingboing.net

Monday, December 5, 2005
Sony rootkit ripped off anti-DRM code to break into iTunes
Sony's DRM supplier XCP ripped off a free software project so that it could defeat Apple iTunes.

Remember when Sony got nailed for including code an open-source crack for iTunes in its rootkit DRM? Princeton researcher Alex Halderman has been patiently teasing apart the rootkit, looking for an explanation. Why would Sony's arms-merchant rip off an anti-DRM program for its DRM?

Halderman concludes that the XCP -- the Sony rootkit -- was intended to be used to crack open iTunes and insert Sony's music into it, without allowing Sony customers to convert their music into MP3s along the way.

This exposes one of the things about DRM that most people miss: it doesn't really matter what permissions a given DRM grants or prohibits (as fun as it might be to point out the absurdity of a DRM that keeps you from listening to your own music). The important thing about DRM is that it gives the company or consortium that controls the DRM control over who can use the DRM.

So Apple can make an iPod and shut Real and Microsoft and Sony out of it. Napster can make a subscription music service and shut Apple out of it. And so on.

Reverse-engineering Apple's DRM is hard, but not overwhelmingly so. Jon Johansen and his pals generally went through each new release like a hot knife through butter (Jon's got a new job and says he's putting his Apple-coring hobby on hold for a while, so the iTunes 6 version of DRM has stood for longer than its predecessors).

So when Sony's arms-dealer was making its munitions, it added an attractive new feature for Sony and others: the ability to break DRM to sneak music into iTunes.

So yeah, definitely sign this Pledge because it's useful as a movement to get people more aware of our rights as consumers.

Damn the Man!